Anya Bast

Cross posted from The Bradford Bunch.

My husband and I just celebrated thirteen years of marriage. I know it doesn’t seem that long to some people, but considering the rate of divorce surrounding us, it feels like an accomplishment to my husband and I.

We are really different, he and I. I’m introverted and quiet. I only speak unless I have something to say. When I make friends, I tend to make them for life–I don’t flit. He’s loud and outgoing and a bit bossy. He has lots of friends, but the relationships are a bit more superficial than mine tend to be. Many are the times he tries to plow over me and tell me what to do, making me dig in my heels and stand my ground (with him, I have to be strong. He keeps me that way.) I love to read, he doesn’t. I love to talk about politics and religion and deeper sorts of issues, he doesn’t.I’m emotional, he’s not. He loves to go out and be around other people, I don’t. We are opposites in lots of different ways.

But we share plenty of common ground, too, and over the years we’ve both grown and changed…together. Like the limbs of a tree growing closer, rather than further apart. Little bit by little bit, the alignment of our personalities has grown stronger.

There were rocky times, times that another couple probably would’ve used to say goodbye, but love kept us together. We worked through the rough spots, coming out the other side of them stronger for it, more in sync, and closer. Yes, we are very different, but we have an understanding of the other person and a genuine appreciation. We give each other the qualities we don’t possess ourselves–two halves of a whole. Over the years I’ve adopted some of the aspects of his personality and he’s adopted some of mine.

Maybe that’s why I tend to pair opposites in my books. I like the idea of two very different people coming together, finding a bit of common ground, finding a deep and abiding love, and building a house with a solid foundation on it. That’s what we’ve done in our marriage, after all.

All I know is that I’m thankful for my husband and I wouldn’t trade his loud, brash, bossy self for anyone. He is my partner through this life, my very best friend and best companion, the one I want to grow old with. Out of anyone in the world, he knows me the best…maybe even better than I think I know myself.